Noble's Notes

Duality

Most alters have a sort of "twin" or "reverse" of themselves. The pairs may have originated from the same traumatic time period, respond to trauma similarly, or share aspects of their identity.

Some of our known paired alters are:

• miku & omochao: both nontraumatized teen alters, miku from late childhood and omochao from early teen years. likely split due to disruptions during this developmental time
• cherry & heaven: both touch/praise/attention driven alters who are a response to sexual trauma. cherry is obsessive over partners and demands affection, while heaven is prone to rejecting and being critical of potential partners
• hana & dove: both very soft, sensitive alters directly split as trauma responses. literally fawn and freeze parts.
• solare & ivy: angel/demon
• dawn & lace: young children, dawn with no childhood trauma and lace with all childhood trauma
• hana & cherry: fawning, easily manipulated alters. stockholm syndrome towards abusers and have a history of being abused by men. both are sometimes controlled by heaven. both are most interested in men
• solare & pavel: protective, powerful hosts in our adulthood

System Timeline

Body age 0-8: No direct knowledge of or communication with other alters. We were an emotionally split child, alternating through childish identity fragments to survive. Lace took on and compartmentalized abuse and trauma

Body age 8-12: Lace "dies" due to weight of ongoing traumatic events, and locks Dawn away with her for protection. We are without a host or an alter to take on ongoing trauma. We have little to no memory of this time.

Body age 12: with new dramatic life changes and budding teenhood, new alter Aster appears and becomes the host. Aster is somewhat aware of his fragmented identity and is starting to learn about the concept of DID

Body ages 12-18: Aster is the host, though with time and still ongoing traumatic events, he is losing control of the front to other alters. Aster grows aware that he is not the original alter in the body, and is not alone. Aster names "Paige" and "Anna" -- chaotic groups of alter fragments that split into many different alters later on. Aster successfully runs away from our abusive mother, effectively removing a huge source of stress from our life

Body age 19: Reboot ~2014. Aster "dies" due to worsening abusive relationship, new alter Solare appears to take over as host.

Body age 19-23: Solare is the host, a powerful angel thought to have premonitions and energy healing abilities. Under her guidance, the system begins to work together. Solare calls Noble into existence to organize years of traumatic memories and research DID, separating once confused and entangled alters in the process. We are still in a worsening abusive relationship, and though new alters are splitting as a result, alters are also not able to fully surface or reveal themselves due to partner's control and denial of DID. We are highly anxious but generally more functional and cooperative, rotating out to cope with stress and abuse like we had through our childhood.

Body age 23: Reboot ~2020. Abusive relationship chaotically comes to an end. For the first time in our life we are living alone, in a living space that isn't regularly traumatic. Solare retires as host, resigning to care for sensitive and child alters internally. Pavel takes over as host. We are finally free to explore and reveal our identities, alters who were previously too scared to be known begin to come forward.

Body age 23-27: The present!

Pavel hosts a lovely, safe life!

Hana cofronts most frequently. Solare still comes out sometimes to do energy work. Aster and Lace are fulfilled, their sacrifices making it possible for us to be safe and respected today. No alters face routine trauma or any abuse anymore. We are in a safe relationship with a partner who respects and acknowledges our DID and all of us as individuals. Several alters consider themself to be dating our partner! We try our best to share the front fairly and peacefully.